It had been an exciting week for X-Factor really hadn’t it, as we all waved goodbye to cheeky lad Frankie that I had just started to love. Apparently he had broken a ‘golden rule’, ‘what could it have been?!’ we all pondered. Seemingly it had nothing to do with not being able to sing. Weird.
A few technical difficulties saw us having to watch X factors ‘best bits’ for 15 minutes whilst a few of us had our fingers crossed that they’d never resolve them. Or was that just me because it’d be a Frankie-less (read as humourless) show? Twitter became rife with rumours but in the end it was just a boring old powercut. Shame. I was hoping that Frankie had cursed them.
As on Dermot walks on stage with two dancers I wish the technical difficulties had continued.
The only week where Kitty’s scantily clad look is acceptable would be this week where they can sing Lady Gaga. Only Misha’s singing the song Kitty wanted to, so she opted for Queen. Like Lady Gaga doesn’t have a handful of other songs to sing. Anyway, she sang ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ and it was alright. The main shocker was that she was actually wearing clothes. For her performance, she also had some people who looked like horses dancing around which made me raise my eyebrow on more than one occasion. That is Kitty for you, though.
As ever, Craig was good doing his rendition of Lady G’s ‘Paparazzi.’ Whilst the tempo was enough to send me asleep, I managed to stay awake thanks to his vocals, but probably just about. However, I feel as if his performances are becoming a little boring and predictable. How many weeks left do we have of this competition left? Oh.
Just as we were all think we were going to have to sit through ‘Radio Gaga’ Little mix, dressed like they’re going to a rave, burst into ‘Telephone’ by Lady Gaga and save us from a possible boring performance. Barlow renders them ‘predictable’ and I think he’s missed the fucking point of manufactured pop. Surely he should know this stuff? He was in Take That after all. Nevermind.
As Dermot announces the lines are now closed to replace Frankie I still don’t care. However I still sit in front of the TV. for lack of something better to do. Oh, life.
If you found Little Mix too fun and lively and bright for you, then you will probably enjoy… ZZZZ… Oh sorry, where was I? ah yes, you’ll probably enjoy Janet. Nothing like being a fun sponge. I spent most of her song, Queen’s ‘Somebody to Love’, deciding what she was wearing and falling asleep. Then Gary Barlow goes on to be extremely blunt ‘I’m losing interest etc it’s boring’ and I find myself clapping.
Livening the show up (thank God) was Marcus Collins. Adding his own twist to Another One Bites The Dust, we might as well just end the show now and let him win. He’s THAT good.
“I can’t hear anyone sing Born This Way without crying” said Kitty Brucknell at the start of the show. So with Kitty’s sobbing face in my head I think I
enjoyed Misha B’s rendition of the song a lot more. Dressed yet again like a Quality Street, she managed to restrain herself from doing that really annoying ‘ha ha’ thing she’s been doing in previous weeks. It is almost as if she took note of what I said. Imagine. However, I think deep down we all know Kitty may have done an equally decent job.
Results time and who did the public vote back in? It didn’t really take much to guess that Amelia Lily would be the one coming back (yay). Performing ‘The Show Must Go On’ by Queen and doing a good fucking job of it. So let’s thank Frankie for dropping out, but also send a stoney glare for Kelly Rowland for her annoying comments throughout the show and for sending Amelia home first week. Amelia put the rest of the contestants to shame, not that it’s that hard to do.
As we get a run through of everyone’s performances, I can safely say I forgot some of them. I didn’t want reminding of Janet’s mind numbing performance, thanks.
Sunday now, and it’s the results show with One Direction who seem to be a trending topic every day on twitter for some reason, and lady gaga are on tonight which will probably be the only thing exciting about the show.
Holy shit kitty’s wearing clothes. Again. The finalists do a nice little rendition of Walking on Sunshine, all wearing a bit of yellow, and for a moment I thought I was watching Glee. And then I remembered that the X-Factor was unfortunately real.
One Direction, one wearing really fucking bright trousers, come on and perform their new song which is dire. Even kitty sounds better than them at some parts of the song. They could have at least played the other one that most people liked.
After the tedious ad break, Kitty Brucknell takes to the stage. Oh hang on no, it’s Lady Gaga, wearing an outfit that would have been appropriate for Halloween. Only it’s not, is it now? She eventually changed into an outfit that Kitty probably has in her wardrobe, seeing as she had clearly forgotten her trousers.
Dermot tells how, for the 1000th time, the results are done in no particular order. Shut up and get on with it. First Craig goes through with a shocked face, and then Janet which leaves me with a shocked face. Marcus, Amelia and Little Mix follow, leaving Misha B and Kitty in the bottom 2. Lady Gaga couldn’t have voted for her mini me enough. Or at all.
Kitty goes on to sing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ and I can barely remember how it went after she sang it. Misha B sang some song by Jessie J that was good and we all knew it would keep her in even if she was sort of shit, because hey, if we wanted to see Lady Gaga, we would see her.
Louis obviously saved Kitty, seeing as she’s the only one left in his category, Tulisa, Kelly and Gary ‘can I just say’ Barlow sends home Kitty. And she won’t leave the stage until she sang a bit of Born This Way as a clear ‘fuck you’ to those who didn’t vote and maybe even Misha for not letting Kitty have her way. Awh.
After that shit, bring back Cocozza.
