It’s nearly over, don’t worry.
Dermot o’leary arrives in a taxi. It’s a shame the taxi didn’t lock the doors and speed off again, but there we go.
The three finalists, Marcus, Little Mix and Amelia ‘does she really deserve to be here’ Lily, start the show off by singing (or miming) ‘Greatest Day’ by Take That. Amelia Lily looks like an annoying mermaid. People come onto the stage holding flaming torches and for a minute I think there’s been a mix up with the Olympic torch. Here’s hoping they all drop their torches and the place goes down, but unfortunately this doesn’t happen.
Marcus walks through the crowd, with air hostesses surrounding him and he keeps going ‘woo!’ Oh Marcus, please don’t. Everyone’s heard ‘Hey Ya!’ by Outkast and more or less loves it. It seems as if Marcus’ version is half assed and he’s definitely done better through-out the series. When the camera pans to the judges, Tulisa looks bored and Kelly’s clapping her hands like a five year old.
Next up are Tulisa’s ‘muffins’ (Jesus Christ) doing their rendition of ‘You’ve Got the Love.’ They come onto the stage on motorbikes coughGirlsAloudcough’WakeUp’videocough before launching into some shitty cheerleader chant that I hope they never do again. They’ve also been sponsored by Levi’s or something. Too. Much. Denim. Their performance, whilst vocally a bit better than Marcus’, is still a bit boring.
I’m not going to even bother saying anything about what Amelia’s wearing because it’s just that horrific. Amelia can sing, and she’s chosen to sing Christina agularia’s ‘aint no other man.’ It’s not exactly shit, and she even sort of sounds like Christina. I’m not sure if it’s me because I’ve finally had enough of this show now, or there’s a spark missing from each of the performers.
JLS and One Direction decided it would be a really great idea to do collaboration. I beg to differ. They did a mash up of ‘she
makes me wanna’ and ‘what makes you beautiful.’ Well, jls, this makes me wanna turn off my TV. Fuck though, the 1D song is catchy isn’t it? Then they’re all running around. I’m exhausted and i’m sure Caroline Flack is watching like a proud mother. Oh wait.
Time for the duet’s. If you’re not feeling suicidal already, then maybe it’s time to turn over.
First of the duet’s, it’s Gary and Marcus singing ‘She’s Always a Woman’ by Billy Joel. Gary sits at the piano showing off his musical skills and Marcusand Gary occasionally stare longingly into one another’s eyes before having a nice hug at the end. All the mums will probably vote for Marcus if they can be bothered to move.
Little mix do a mash-up of Alicia Keys’ Empire State Of Mind and If I Ain’t Got You. Then Tulisa wears something that a tame Lady Gaga may have worn many years ago before the meat saga. At one point, the one everyone bullies does some ‘beatboxing’ and er, the less said the better, let’s be honest. I like Tulisa’s voice, and to be honest, the whole set up worked very well and it was nice to listen to. But yet again, I found it boring, even when it’s meant to get a bit more ‘exciting’ with flashy lights and whatnot.
Candyfloss haired Amelia lily and Kelly Rowland cover River Deep Mountain High by Ike and Tina Turner. When Amelia says ‘do it Kelly!’ I hope she’s referring to do something other than sing a song, but unfortunately it doesn’t. It’s probably the most exciting performance of the night, which isn’t really saying much.
Just when you think it’s all over, Leona Lewis comes onstage to sing her new single ‘Hurt.’ How about no.
Then Michael Bublé, you know, the one your mother probably really likes, sings a nice little song off his new Christmas ep which failed to get me remotely in the Christmas spirit. Better luck next time Bublé.
FINALLY, the show gets a bit tense. WHO will be finishing third? In a way I hope it’s Amelia lily, and after the controversy after HMV’s ‘error’ people could have not bothered voting for her. Oh and that she basically skipped half the competition.
And guess who was right? Bye Amelia. “Can I just say thank you to everyone who voted me back into the competition. My ambition was to get to the final and I did it so thank you, you haven’t seen the last of Amelia Lily.” 1) You may have gotten to the final, but you also didn’t have to fight each week like Marcus and little mix had to, did you? and 2) true. For about a year.
So, who will be leaving tomorrow? Does anyone even care anymore? I cant even remember the performances from tonight which is always good. It’ll probably be Little Mix because apparently we need a new girl band.
